Talk:"One-in-100-year flood event" devastates Western Australia
@Johnson524: Good work, hopefully this one gets published! Some things to remember:
1. Always include the "when" of the story (in this case, when the flooding has been happening) in the lead. The lead should give a basic answer to each of the 5Ws-who, what, where, when, why-and how.
2. While we always write headlines in the present tense (devastates), when writing the article the present tense should generally not be used; for past events, it would be "The rivers swelled" or "Albanese said". For events that are ongoing as of this writing, one could say "The flood is devastating this community".
3. Always write in the active tense (the flood devastated the community) not the passive (the community was devastated by the flood) and attribute actions (the Bureau of Meterology reported).
4. Try to get paragraphs to cover one idea: there was one paragraph that started out explaining the causes of the floods, then abruptly began talking about how long they might continue. Basically, a paragraph should be devoted to one aspect of the story, be, at most, about three sentences long, according to the Style Guide, and they should group like information together in the inverted pyramid format. You did quite well with the inverted pyramid thing.
I know this might seem like a lot, but it will speed up the review process greatly if the reviewer doesn't have to fix those things (I copyedited the article to do so). Heavy Water (talk) 16:48, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
@JJLiu112: No, it isn't mine. That's why I was copy editing. Heavy Water (talk) 16:50, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
- Oh, thank you. JJLiu112 (talk) 16:50, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
- Having only written one article before this I was unaware of many of the things on your list, and will be sure to try to implement them in any future writing. Thank you for the time you took to write this! Cheers, Johnson524 (talk) 17:52, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
- As always, consult Wikinews:Style Guide if you're ever confused. JJLiu112 (talk) 17:54, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
Review of revision 4703454 [Passed]
edit
Revision 4703454 of this article has been reviewed by JJLiu112 (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 17:47, 8 January 2023 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: Many transgressions I've resolved. Check edit history please. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Revision 4703454 of this article has been reviewed by JJLiu112 (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 17:47, 8 January 2023 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: Many transgressions I've resolved. Check edit history please. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Hyperbolic?
editI know the one-in-a-hundred is a direct quote, but the use of "devastation" may have been excessive. A hundred (or more) people evacuated seems small for this kind of adjective. Western Australia is a huge area. SVTCobra 05:35, 30 January 2023 (UTC)
- @SVTCobra: To quote the article: Authorities estimate it could take months to recover from what Dawson called "the worst flooding Western Australia has had in its history." Now granted, much of the state is in the Outback and he probably means recorded history, so perhaps this is their worst flooding since the mid-to-late 19th century. But still, between that and the dramatic airlift, I think "devastates" is not inaccurate. Also, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese described the flood as "devastating", the very word. Heavy Water (talk) 14:26, 30 January 2023 (UTC)