User talk:Bddpaux/sandbox5

Headline

It would be good to work the year into in this headline (smoothly, of course :-), since the event described occurs annually. --Pi zero (talk) 15:02, 23 September 2014 (UTC)

I see our precedent here is Haunted attractions in Texas prepare for 2013 Halloween season. --Pi zero (talk) 16:06, 24 September 2014 (UTC)

OR Notes

• On Friday evening, 9/19/2014 I visited Terror Nights in Tyler, Texas. There I interviewed the owner/general manager, Ryan Laepple who told me their official opening night for the season is on September 26th (the day I hope this gets published). We took a short tour (photos to follow) and I watched a sizeable chunk of their new employee orientation. During this, he told employees that in a recent year, they had 1800 attendees go through the haunt in a single night! Yikes, that's a lot of people! --Bddpaux (talk) 15:23, 24 September 2014 (UTC)
  • A couple of things he said that I might use: told employees haunt "This is the most intense experience you'll find this Halloween in East Texas." Earlier, before he toured me, he said he and staff spent five months building Chiseltooth Manor; during tour, I commented to him that it appears to combine elements of the Texas Chainsay Massacre with a bit of generic voodoo stuff here and there. --Buddpaul (talk) 03:07, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
    • When he made the "chicken doors" comment and the "1800 in one night", it was a Wow! moment.....(you kinda had to be there). He said on that particular night, they ran groups of 10, every 30 seconds through the haunt. --Buddpaul (talk) 03:22, 25 September 2014 (UTC)

• Zombie Manor and Thrillvania stuff should be at the bottom of the sources list. --Buddpaul (talk) 03:02, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
  • 13th Floor should be in the My SA stuff. --Buddpaul (talk) 03:03, 25 September 2014 (UTC)

Review of revision 2909827 [Not ready]

Revision 2909827 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 12:16, 26 September 2014 (UTC). Copyright: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Newsworthiness: Not ready: As with last year's (I see from the record), lede needs punch. See below. Verifiability: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. NPOV: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Style: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Comments by reviewer: I see this came up with last year's as well. Recalling the comment from last year, The lede needs to explain what, specifically, has recently happened that justifies the existence of the article. Identify the focus, and briefly summarize it by answering as many as reasonably possible of the basic questions about it. If the reason you're writing now is that Wikinews speak to <someone> aboud <something>, say so. The current first paragraph is really background; one might well put a paragraph break after the current first sentence, then soup up the resulting first paragraph as the new lede. See how well that worked last year: Haunted attractions in Texas prepare for 2013 Halloween season. This year, if I understand correctly, you did one interview. So, supposing I've got that right, that fact would be part of the lede. (More than I can do as reviewer, though.) Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.

Revision 2909827 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 12:16, 26 September 2014 (UTC). Copyright: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Newsworthiness: Not ready: As with last year's (I see from the record), lede needs punch. See below. Verifiability: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. NPOV: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Style: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Comments by reviewer: I see this came up with last year's as well. Recalling the comment from last year, The lede needs to explain what, specifically, has recently happened that justifies the existence of the article. Identify the focus, and briefly summarize it by answering as many as reasonably possible of the basic questions about it. If the reason you're writing now is that Wikinews speak to <someone> aboud <something>, say so. The current first paragraph is really background; one might well put a paragraph break after the current first sentence, then soup up the resulting first paragraph as the new lede. See how well that worked last year: Haunted attractions in Texas prepare for 2013 Halloween season. This year, if I understand correctly, you did one interview. So, supposing I've got that right, that fact would be part of the lede. (More than I can do as reviewer, though.) Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.