FireLyte--spyre

Be aware! Anything you see on this page may or may not be true, depending on weather reports, kitten density and amount of fluoride in the water supply.

Fresh from completing his first original report, FireLyte--spyre has completed his pre-publish review dance and is now creating a user page for the ages. He was quoted as saying: "When wikinewsies look back in a hundred years I want them to be able to say: 'Wow it was boring back then, but it sure was well reported.'"

He also noted that this was the only time he would be able to break the equally loved and reviled WN:SG and have his words unchanged. The wikinews neophyte then proceeded to break the WN:SG in ways too horrific to describe. A witness described it as "blasphemous" and FireLyte was banned from attending all subsequent christenings.

An anonymous source told Wikinews that the page was hugely one-sided and blatantly self-aggrandizing, calling it "an offense to the intelligence of the reader." Asked if he had any defence against these charges FireLyte's lawyer simply shrugged and said: "Zaphod's just this guy you know?"

The meaning of these words is unclear at this time.

A treasured Award

Totally unofficial but well deserved gong

		Exceptional Newcomer Award
		I, InfantGorilla, hereby award FireLyte--spyre the Exceptional Newcomer Award for contributions made to Wikinews.  — InfantGorilla (talk) 18:08, 6 August 2010 (UTC)

At the unofficial presentation of this award in an abandoned Soviet missile bunker deep in the wastes of Russia FireLyte--spyre was asked if he had any words for future wikinewsies. His words were recorded for posterity:

"Never give up. Every editor of wikinews has setbacks and corrections and every reviewer has been in the position of having an article failed or even deleted. Do not lose heart. These mistakes are not devastations but opportunities to grow and move on in the development of your skills and yourself.

The style guide should be known to you. Read and memorised, if not burnt into your very soul and skin. This goes for all the other important user help pages. You may run out of skin.

Develop a method for writing your stories. This has helped me immeasurably once I got the hang of it. Cheat! Use thesauruses and dictionaries to find the best words and always remember George Orwell's exquisite and paraphrased words: 'short is best!'

Do original reporting. Even if it means selling all your possessions to afford a plane ticket to a war zone." (Readers are strongly advised not to do this. Do not sell your possessions to fly to a war zone. Do not.) "If it looks like there might be a story you could cover in your area, get a camera and be bold; go! Even if it comes to nothing it is worth trying every time for the one time you can say that you are a reporter that has written an original article"

Due to unforeseen, webcomic related circumstances FireLyte was unable to continue the interview but we did preserve the smell of wisdom for use on this user page. After reading the following merely smell your monitor or viewing device to receive the aroma of wisdom.

^{*Smell of wisdom*}