Talk:Fiancée of murdered Saudi journalist demands justice at UN General Assembly

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Pi zero in topic Review of revision 4517145 [Passed]

Review of revision 4516853 [Not ready]


Notes on resubmission

  • I have reworked the focal point to center on Hatice Cengiz' appearance on the sidelines of the UN General Assembly.
  • The PBS source is redundant and included as a "horse's mouth" type of reference.

--SVTCobra 21:36, 28 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Quick impression, it looks distinctly stronger, re the factors of concern from the previous review. --Pi zero (talk) 21:45, 28 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Gender of principal agent


I was doing my usual proofreading for minor stuff that could go either way, and I noticed that I can't tell from this text whether Hatice Cengiz is a man or a woman. The fact that the first face I see is male, even though I can read that it's Khashoggi's after the fact, suggests to my mind that they're two men. Darkfrog24 (talk) 23:16, 28 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Dropped a female pronoun into the lead. It should do. Darkfrog24 (talk) 23:22, 28 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
Thanks. Yes, I could not find a free image of Cengiz. --SVTCobra 00:02, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply



@SVTCobra: While we're on the subject of headlines, the current headline gives no clue who either of those people are, except that one one of them has apparently been murdered. --Pi zero (talk) 02:27, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

True. After a couple of sloppy abortions, I have renamed. It feels too international to put any single country in the title, though. --SVTCobra 02:38, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
@SVTCobra: Two things. Seems to me headlinese would drop the "her" from current headline. And, while I agree the internationality is quite challenging, seems to me it really wants something geographical to anchor it. --Pi zero (talk) 02:48, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
(Conspicuous by its absence being any recommended solution to the geography puzzle.) --Pi zero (talk) 02:50, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
I used UN HQ as the geo-locator for better-or-worse. I think we have ample precedent for international events not needing further location data in titles. --SVTCobra 03:00, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
I didn't drop the 'her' in light of the gender concerns above, but if you review again, you can do so without any objection from me. --SVTCobra 03:40, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
I like the UN as anchor. We aren't after all obligated to answer the five Ws and an H in the headline, but to say what's important and unique, and provide (without misleading) the sizzle that sells the steak. And sure enough, even if the names are meaningless and you've never heard of the case, someone seeking justice for their journalist fiancee's murder may sound moderately ordinary, but someone doing so before the UN General Assembly is news. --Pi zero (talk) 11:34, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

"Fiance of murdered Saudi journalist demands justice at UN General Assembly." Cengiz is not independently famous, so we don't need her name in the headline. Darkfrog24 (talk) 14:49, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

I just want to point out the distinction between fiancée and fiancé. Otherwise, I'm happy with the new title. Wish "Khashoggi" could still be in there, but I don't want to make the headline any longer than it is. Cheers, --SVTCobra 16:27, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Review of revision 4517145 [Passed]




This Summary of the report from the OHCHR has a link to the actual hundred page report in Word format. Dismemberment was mentioned several times (but not in the summary) and is based on what both Turkish and Saudi investigators found, including at least one confession. If even the Saudis are saying he was chopped up, I tend to believe it. --SVTCobra 23:44, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Useful to have a link. --Pi zero (talk) 23:49, 29 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
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