New News

Before I begin serious, positive work, I'd like to add the following hoax:

Last Saturday, there was a major victory for cryptozoology. In the Mall of America, Tom Cruise was mugging millionaires. One of the millionaires fled, Cruise persued, and he tripped. He fell into a fountain. He noticed an underwater door in the fountain, and when he entered, he saw the Loch Ness Monster. There was also a subway sation that took him to Loch Ness in two minutes. When the returned to America, he left the fountain. He went into a hunting goods store. The hunting goods store had a large artificial forest. He found bigfoot there. Finally, Cruise went to a bank in the Mall. He saw Trump taking out a huge loan.

Biologists have classified Nessie as part of the Suborder Plesiosauroidea. Big foot was in the genus Gigantopithecus. And Trump was put into a new Phylum, Serpentia. A top cryptologist said that these findings will give cryptozoology credibility. Other cryptologists just said "I told you so".

Thank You. --New News 05:05, 30 January 2007 (UTC)