Get ready to snack on my poopie

I'm just ready to write some hard-hitting articles

I'm just your average ordinary guy. Someday I hope to be a used car salesman. When I dont get my way I fucking scream and yell and insult people until they concede to me, thats just how I roll. My parents raised me well and I am a self reliant fighter.

I have won many prestigious writing awards. I am probably the biggest NFL fan you will ever meet and I will school you in any argument. Don't f***in try me b*tchez!! I kid, I kid.

The real reason I am here is because somebody I know owns stock in a controversial company and he's PAYING me to monitor Wikinews and filter out bad stuff about his infallible overlord. Maybe if this bootlicker realized the guy he owns stock in wasn't such a shithead he wouldn't have a problem. You live you learn. BAZINGA!! I'm gonna laugh my ass off when this stupid shit blows up in his face. Until then, I'm going to start publishing interesting articles that I find.