Talk:Storm causes Southern Californian residents to evacuate

OR

My OR is all after the quote by Beck minus the bit about the mountains. I am gathering this by looking out the window and I have an interview question waiting for a reply and will be sent to Scoop. —The New Mikemoral ♪♫ 00:31, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

I have seen the email and can tentatively confirm, although I would be happier if the original was left untouched with a note not to take the name outside of Scoop. Doesn't really matter, though; we trust you anyway. Blood Red Sandman ^{(Talk) (Contribs)} 12:37, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

I'll note that for the future. --The New Mikemoral ♪♫ 23:26, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

First sentence

"The third storm since Monday in the Los Angeles County, California area has caused reasons for residents in burn areas caused by last summer's fires." This sentence does not make sense. Condensed, it reads: "Storm has caused reason for residents caused by fires" --SVTCobra 01:33, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

Will rewrite that. --The New Mikemoral ♪♫ 01:34, 21 January 2010 (UTC)

Review of revision 941292 [Failed]

Revision 941292 of this article has been reviewed by ShakataGaNai (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 04:09, 21 January 2010 (UTC). Copyright: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Not ready: see comment Comments by reviewer: Sorry to do this, but this desperately needs a grammatical overhaul. Normally I'm not picky about something like this, but it is so choppy, it is hard to read. The article is also fairly light on information and poorly organized. Article title is "Californian storm affects many areas" ... many means more than just socal. Summarize what is happening statewide, then go into specific areas. They isn't even any mention of the tornado warnings in the LA area yesterday (19th Local) or SFBay area today (20th Local). Lastly, what the hell is "Snow valley"? Link is to a disambig, and as a cali resident of 20+ years, I've never heard this term. Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.

Revision 941292 of this article has been reviewed by ShakataGaNai (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 04:09, 21 January 2010 (UTC). Copyright: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Not ready: see comment Comments by reviewer: Sorry to do this, but this desperately needs a grammatical overhaul. Normally I'm not picky about something like this, but it is so choppy, it is hard to read. The article is also fairly light on information and poorly organized. Article title is "Californian storm affects many areas" ... many means more than just socal. Summarize what is happening statewide, then go into specific areas. They isn't even any mention of the tornado warnings in the LA area yesterday (19th Local) or SFBay area today (20th Local). Lastly, what the hell is "Snow valley"? Link is to a disambig, and as a cali resident of 20+ years, I've never heard this term. Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.

Quotes

The selected quotes seem strange ... they are addressing the reader directly ... I guess this could be helpful if the audience was in the affected area, but Wikinews should keep a wider audience in mind. Those quotes could be summarized with a "residents are advised to ..."-type of paragraph. (also note the use of "yesterday" which may no longer apply. Cheers, --SVTCobra 01:49, 22 January 2010 (UTC)

Done Removed mayor's quote and switched to past tense. --The New Mikemoral ♪♫ 02:06, 22 January 2010 (UTC)

Review of revision 941791 [Passed]

Revision 941791 of this article has been reviewed by RockerballAustralia (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 04:24, 22 January 2010 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: None added. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Revision 941791 of this article has been reviewed by RockerballAustralia (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 04:24, 22 January 2010 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: None added. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.