Talk:Hong Kong leader announces withdrawal of extradition bill
Title
editWhile I as usual consider the title of the article up for grabs to all Wikinewsies, I do not believe the IP's suggestion "Hong Kong Leader's proposal to withdraw the extradition bill causes public outrage" to be a significant improvement. I think it's not exactly what happened. I have no problem whatsoever if any of you think otherwise. Darkfrog24 (talk) 18:02, 4 September 2019 (UTC)
- The IP has a point. While your title is in line with the way the sources phrase it, Lam said her government is going to withdraw it, meaning it hasn't happened yet. I don't think a new title needs to be as complicated as they suggest, but a rewording is probably in order. More importantly, however, is the lede. Here it states it in past tense, which seems to be false. --SVTCobra 09:29, 5 September 2019 (UTC)
- Done. And I will add this second comment on the title does not have the bias problems of the first. So if it's the same anonymous contributor, well done. Darkfrog24 (talk) 12:37, 5 September 2019 (UTC)
Review of revision 4509279 [Passed]
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Revision 4509279 of this article has been reviewed by SVTCobra (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 03:27, 6 September 2019 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: I wasn't keen on the "appointed" framing of w:Carrie Lam. That felt like a POV starting point. Things got better, though it was inadvertently made confusing by trying to 'keep distance' (?) but it made some parts sound like it was Lam from different events/venues. If somebody says something on Twitter, it should be clear. Man-kei Tam released a statement, she didn't hold a press conference where she "told the press (or public)" anything. It's minutia, but it can undermine credibility of an article. I eliminated the old "BBC Timeline" ... it didn't seem to be used and there's no need to keep recycling it. I was happy with the new title (I watched a video of Lam's full press conference and it was in no uncertain terms). The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Revision 4509279 of this article has been reviewed by SVTCobra (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 03:27, 6 September 2019 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: I wasn't keen on the "appointed" framing of w:Carrie Lam. That felt like a POV starting point. Things got better, though it was inadvertently made confusing by trying to 'keep distance' (?) but it made some parts sound like it was Lam from different events/venues. If somebody says something on Twitter, it should be clear. Man-kei Tam released a statement, she didn't hold a press conference where she "told the press (or public)" anything. It's minutia, but it can undermine credibility of an article. I eliminated the old "BBC Timeline" ... it didn't seem to be used and there's no need to keep recycling it. I was happy with the new title (I watched a video of Lam's full press conference and it was in no uncertain terms). The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |