Talk:Four dead as Mexico gunmen attack ambulance

Review of revision 1338178 [Passed]

Revision 1338178 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 04:02, 9 December 2011 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: My biggest verification glitch here (setting aside the straightforward "Juárez"/"Calderón" subst) was that the sources do not unambiguously put the warring cartels in El Paso. Avoid taking source sentences and 'mussing them up' by substituting in synonyms. Ultimately, on any but the smallest scale, that doesn't avoid plagiarism. The "synonym" technique also tends to foster verbose constructions, which isn't best writing style in addition to not providing the wanted distance from source. Granted, fundamentally rearranging things is more work and is a slowly acquired skill — certain Wikinewsies are past masters of this skill, and reviewing that artful synthesis work can be rather inspirational, as the synthesis tends to have no remaining vestige of the source phrase/sentence structures. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Revision 1338178 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 04:02, 9 December 2011 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: My biggest verification glitch here (setting aside the straightforward "Juárez"/"Calderón" subst) was that the sources do not unambiguously put the warring cartels in El Paso. Avoid taking source sentences and 'mussing them up' by substituting in synonyms. Ultimately, on any but the smallest scale, that doesn't avoid plagiarism. The "synonym" technique also tends to foster verbose constructions, which isn't best writing style in addition to not providing the wanted distance from source. Granted, fundamentally rearranging things is more work and is a slowly acquired skill — certain Wikinewsies are past masters of this skill, and reviewing that artful synthesis work can be rather inspirational, as the synthesis tends to have no remaining vestige of the source phrase/sentence structures. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.