Talk:Allardyce, English Football Association part by mutual consent

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Some thoughtsEdit

I'm not up to a full review tonight. However, I note here a few rough spots in the usage in the text, that I would want to smooth in consultation with the sources during review.

  • 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence, last 15 words ("with businessman to bend around the rules of the FA to the summer transfer market.") There seems to be some difficulty with prepositions there; I'd copyedit it but am not quite sure what is meant; likely it would be come clear when consulting the sources.
  • 3rd paragraph, some awkward phrasing, especially in the 2nd sentence; again, I'd want to consult sources to be quite sure of the meaning to be clarified. (I also agree the word "objectionable" is worth some careful thought, to try for greater objectivity.)
  • 4th paragraph. "personality to speak in public"? (Some tweak wanted; would consult sources.) "psychological barriers" doesn't quite feel right to me either so I'd want to tweak it.
  • 6th paragraph. Perhaps the quote at the end should have an "s" at the end, "individuals"?

-- Pi zero (talk) 02:17, 30 September 2016 (UTC)

The day he became managerEdit

@Pi zero: it is July 22 when he was appointed as the manager of the national team, not July 23. (talk) 16:33, 30 September 2016 (UTC)

Review of revision 4251725 [Passed]Edit

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