Talk:University defeat Maroochydore in round five of 2020 Sunshine Coast Rugby Union season

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Pi zero in topic Review of revision 4581207 [Passed]

OR pressers edit

I was at the game and recorded the post match press conferences as well as the photos featured in the article. The other outlet there was 7News.

If I've missed something then I'm sure someone will let me know. --RockerballAustralia contribs 10:28, 30 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

Headline edit

I've been struggling with this. I grasp the desire to break up the monotonous form of these headlines but, at the same time, there were some difficulties here. The bit about the 'mid season bye' isn't likely to be understood by a general international audience and, in any case, isn't mentioned at all in the article. The headline as a whole was on the long side, and somewhat on the complex side (which contributed to the impression of length). But also, keeping in mind that most readers aren't going to know what "University" is, these headlines that start with "University defeat Toads", or the like, make it fairly clear (so it seems to me) that they're talking about sports teams of some ilk, whereas when a headline starts "University retain top spot" it's not so obvious that the subject matter is sports. So my first attempt to improve the headline dropped the last bit and brought in Maroochydore, but then I realized the loss of "mid season" left the event under-identified. I realize it's slid back into the bland form, but just at this moment I'm not quite seeing how to make the more interesting approach work smoothly. --Pi zero (talk) 21:14, 1 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

Some fair observations here. The new headline works well despite being bland. --RockerballAustralia contribs 22:09, 1 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

Review of revision 4581207 [Passed] edit

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