Talk:Thirteen-year-old boy in Los Angeles, California thanks city personnel for rescue from sewage pipe

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Pi zero in topic Review of revision 4398633 [Passed]

Headlline edit

I suggest dropping "is" and "a", as a matter of headlinese; and specifying California. Thus, "Thirteen-year-old boy in Log Angeles, California rescued from sewage pipe". --Pi zero (talk) 11:24, 3 April 2018 (UTC)Reply

Great idea. :-) I am glad the typo wasn't carried over.
It would be nice to avoid passive voice, if not in the headline then at least in the first paragraph. I.e. "On Monday, a 13-year-old boy Jesse Hernandez was rescued from a city sewage pipe" -> "On Monday, city officials rescued a 13-year-old boy Jesse Hernandez from a city sewage pipe".
Such modification could result in a "City officials rescue thirteen-year-old boy in Log Angeles, California from sewage pipe" but that could be too long. --Gryllida (talk) 21:43, 3 April 2018 (UTC)Reply

Review of revision 4398515 [Not ready] edit

I made changes to the article by replacing quotes. --George Ho (talk) 15:21, 8 April 2018 (UTC)Reply

Review of revision 4398633 [Passed] edit

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