Talk:Football: Paris Saint-Germain pays world record €222m to sign Neymar

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Comments while reviewingEdit

This is not the final comments, but points to look upon, and improve.

  • The first paragraph of the article (called as lede; see WN:Lede if you want to know more) contains most important details. Lede should not be very long, but it should answer 5Ws and Hs. (see WN:5W if you want to know more). It is important to tell when did the event took place in the lede.
  • (I have written many football transfer news so I am asking,) was it necessary to use so many sources?
  • This is a news article -- and it follows an inverted pyramid structure. Which means, most important information is at the top and lesser important things are presented in a lower part. Here, the information about Neymar's birth was presented in a tone of an encyclopedic article, which is incorrect in terms of style.
  • The headlines should tell the most important thing -- which it does. But, please make sure that readers can identify what it is about. I know about football and I know PSG is Paris Saint Germain. But do you think an cricket fan in Bangladesh knows about PSG? Or a barber in Manhattan knows about Neymar? (see WN:Headlines to know more)
  • I do not advice to make sub-sections, especially for transfer related articles.
    acagastya PING ME! 06:51, 4 August 2017 (UTC)
  • (Since I have written a lot of articles about football transfer,) I am removing those things that I think, are redundant, and not useful for readers. Please feel free to notify me if you think it should be there on the article.
    acagastya PING ME! 07:27, 4 August 2017 (UTC)
  • It is worth mentioning how that oil money club f***ed up last season to make this crazy move -- I would do that later.
    acagastya PING ME! 07:39, 4 August 2017 (UTC)
  • An article should not be a quote farm. I know, this transfer involves a lot of controversy, but there should be some other information other than comments -- I would take care of it, but please understand by observing how it is done.
    acagastya PING ME! 08:34, 4 August 2017 (UTC)
@Acagastya: - Thank you and noted your comments.CASSIOPEIA (talk) 01:00, 5 August 2017 (UTC)

Review of revision 4335609 [Passed]Edit


{{editprotected}} shady area for Mourinho's first sentence: see from 4:55 So, it should read in an interview said, "Expensive are the ones who get into a certain level without a certain quality." Talking about this transfer, the Portuguese said, "For £200m, I don't think [Neymar] is ... Break the quotes, make those two things separate since they aren't really about the same player. (talk) 09:56, 20 August 2017 (UTC)

×2 quote about Kloop isn't in the exact verbatim. (probably because he spoke in German, and sources had translated to English. The video says: "I thought Fair Play was made so that situations like that can't happen. But obviously FFP is more of a suggestion than a real rule." (talk) 10:00, 20 August 2017 (UTC)
  Not done Declined because I believe that it is clear that Mourinho is saying that Neymar is not over-priced, unlike other high-priced transfers who lack his quality. The second is declined because translations by different people are going to differ. Wikinews relied on reputable sources for this translation and are not going to make such change to an archived article by researching video and alternate translations. Cheers, --SVTCobra 17:17, 16 January 2018 (UTC)
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