Talk:CPSC, ATF warn of dangers of fireworks over US Independence Day celebrations

OR

For the sentence, "Additionally, many jurisdictions outlaw either all fireworks, or certain types, such as rockets and firecrackers." I used my own knowledge of fireworks laws of various cities in LA County, Nevada and Texas, where I have spent previous 4th Julys, and the following sites, too:

• http://www.sctimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2010107030001
• http://www.thenorthwestern.com/article/20100703/OSH0101/7030416/Celebrate-the-Fourth-safely

Matthewedwards (talk) 19:42, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Review of revision 1054275 [Passed]

Revision 1054275 of this article has been reviewed by Diego Grez (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 23:06, 4 July 2010 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: Article seems good after the copyedit. Have removed the bullet points as they are not often used. Good work! The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Revision 1054275 of this article has been reviewed by Diego Grez (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 23:06, 4 July 2010 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: Article seems good after the copyedit. Have removed the bullet points as they are not often used. Good work! The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Review of revision 1054275 [Passed]

Revision 1054275 of this article has been reviewed by Diego Grez (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 23:06, 4 July 2010 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: Article seems good after the copyedit. Have removed the bullet points as they are not often used. Good work! The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Revision 1054275 of this article has been reviewed by Diego Grez (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 23:06, 4 July 2010 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: Article seems good after the copyedit. Have removed the bullet points as they are not often used. Good work! The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Non-news style

This should not have been published in this form. As presented, it isn't a news article. A news article starts with a lead paragraph that answers the basic questions, and becomes gradually more detailed. --Pi zero (talk) 13:38, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

I've reworked the first two paragraphs so that the 5 Ws are mentioned first. I had it like this originally, but it seemed a little strange not to say what the 4th of July was, which is why I switched them. Anyway, with a little rewording, they're now combined in a way that I think is satisfactory. Thanks for letting me know of your concerns :) Matthewedwards (talk) 15:16, 5 July 2010 (UTC)