Talk:CPSC, ATF warn of dangers of fireworks over US Independence Day celebrations

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For the sentence, "Additionally, many jurisdictions outlaw either all fireworks, or certain types, such as rockets and firecrackers." I used my own knowledge of fireworks laws of various cities in LA County, Nevada and Texas, where I have spent previous 4th Julys, and the following sites, too:

Matthewedwards (talk) 19:42, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Review of revision 1054275 [Passed]Edit

Review of revision 1054275 [Passed]Edit

Non-news styleEdit

This should not have been published in this form. As presented, it isn't a news article. A news article starts with a lead paragraph that answers the basic questions, and becomes gradually more detailed. --Pi zero (talk) 13:38, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

I've reworked the first two paragraphs so that the 5 Ws are mentioned first. I had it like this originally, but it seemed a little strange not to say what the 4th of July was, which is why I switched them. Anyway, with a little rewording, they're now combined in a way that I think is satisfactory. Thanks for letting me know of your concerns :) Matthewedwards (talk) 15:16, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
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