Talk:Australian sport may be on the cusp of change

Latest comment: 14 years ago by Leighblackall in topic Review - should have failed again

Review of revision 915379 [Failed]

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Thanks for the review.. I think I'm going to need a thick skin for this :) But I agree - it was choppy. Have deleted most of the bookmarks, leaving it to the original source.. What you think now? Leighblackall (talk) 08:22, 23 November 2009 (UTC)Reply

Review of revision 915435 [Passed]

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Review - should have failed again

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This should have been failed a second time - not passed.

  1. The title is in no way reflected within the content
  2. This, "Other commentators have welcomed the recommendations, challenging to beliefs that Australians benefit from high performing athletes." is incomprehensible nonsense
  3. There's a numbered list in the middle of it that's meaningless
  4. The sources do not have dates formatted correctly
  5. The sources are not sorted newest->oldest

After reading it, I have zero idea what the Crawford report is/was, why it was commissioned, or - pretty much - any clue what the hell this is about. --Brian McNeil / talk 11:00, 23 November 2009 (UTC)Reply

Thanks Brian, as encouraging as always. I'll have a crack at addressing your issues in the next 12 hours if no one else has before then. Leighblackall (talk) 12:13, 23 November 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • This wasn't directed at you, but at those doing reviews. There's the essay, WN:ARTICLE which might help; also, the link from the more-current welcome template for a Wikipedia people 'quick-start'. IIRC you're account is old enough you don't have that (I will fix). --Brian McNeil / talk 14:30, 23 November 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • I tend to agree, this should have undergone some cleanup and formatting changes per WN:SG before publishing. Brian points out most of the difficulties with the article - it needs more context to make it clear for an international audience. Right now it's not very clear what exactly the report is about. Also - the use of "our" should be avoided since we're an international news agency, not based in any particular country. I'll see if I can help correct the article when I get a chance. Tempodivalse [talk] 15:16, 23 November 2009 (UTC)Reply

  Done Changes made based on Brians numbered list. What need to happen now to update the page? Leighblackall (talk) 05:41, 24 November 2009 (UTC)Reply

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