Talk:Arrested Marxist leader Apablaza charged in Chile
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REASON A couple of things.
"Sergio Galvarino Apablaza,aged 54, nicknamed "Comandante Salvador"(Salvador commander), has been charged by the Chilean judge Hugo Dolmestch for the following crimes: the kidnapping of Cristian Edwards(son of Agustin Edwards, owner of the newspaper El Mercurio) and the assassination of Senator Jaime Guzman Errazuriz."
This paragraph doesn't read well. The translation of "Comandante Salvador" is not necessary. The section in parenthesis should be integrated into the story properly and the punctuation should be cleaned up.
"Galvarino Apablaza is the leader of the Marxist group FPMR - Manuel Rodriguez Patriotic Front. FPMR was founded in 1983 and became the armed wing of the Chilean Communist Party to carry out terrorist attacks against the Chilean government of the dictator Augusto Pinochet." If one is referring to the guerilla group as "Marxist" then Pinochet's government should also be characterised (right-wing/militarist/fascist?), otherwise the effect is simply pejorative and unbalanced.
- The FPMR group say themselves they are a Marxist group. So I dont think you could say it is pejorative, it is a definition, and very precise. I have heard your suggestion and I have characterised the government as militarist and dictatorial which I think is better definition.
"The fall of Pinochet's government and the return to democracy in 1989 in Chile should put a end to the group activities since its alleged goal was fulfilled." Grammatical error — "should have", not "should" as the latter is future/present tense.
Secondly, this section is entirely pejorative and is in the biased voice of the author. This section should be expunged, but if it is felt to be necessary, it should be rewritten thusly (assuming that is correct, and I can't vouch for that myself):— "Some felt that the fall of Pinochet's government and Chile's subsequent return to democracy in 1989 meant that the principal goal of FPMR had been achieved and the group should therefore have disbanded." Overall I am wary of this section of the story as it is opinionated and biased, not simple news. --- Jmwalsh
- I have rewriten the text and the polemic section is out.
I suggest you rewrite the section you think is bad and put it bellow at the improvement section, case you think it is a good idea. Thanks -- Carlosar 02:29, 3 Jan 2005 (UTC)